anxiety

Aug. 29th, 2012 10:37 pm
charmwitch: (Default)
[personal profile] charmwitch


I had a draw meet a few weeks ago and it motivated me to get a sketchbook and start drawing on paper again. It's just so different, I don't even know why! I don't really have any drawing pencils, but just mechanical pencils. I don't know if it's worth an investment for me to get some but lately I've been feeling really anxious about my art and myself.

I don't know why these feelings come and go so much.
It's really frustrating but I just feel really tired and useless some days.
I think part of it has to do with the flow of my job and how there will be a few hours where I just won't have anything to do. I fear they'll send me home again - they've only done this once - but mostly I fear they'll find no use in me anymore so I try to keep myself occupied and working towards the game.

I'm still sad something I worked hard on was ultimately not used and that's okay it just kind of punches you in the gut a little bit


I guess I still feel melancholy
and just really terrified of myself
ugh

I'm sorry if none of this makes sense
I just want to draw and I feel I haven't been able to satisfy myself with drawing.

Was thinking of taking a half day at work but I don't want to really do that. Tomorrow's Thursday and then it'll be Friday.

Maybe I'll go out and draw on Saturday or something?
I don't know why I feel like this.
Just at the verge of tears for no reason.
Dang.
Bro.
No way.
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